Happy but Sad

There are so many emotion when friends tell you they are expecting their first child.

You are happy for your friends, you know they will be great parents, as you are jumping up and down and expressing your congratulation everything feels wonderful. After a few moments, however, a sadness is overwhelming, you politely make some excuse, "I really need to go and do 'something'". Then it hits you. Why are they blessed with a child and not me? They have been only trying for a month. So many another questions pop in your head. You are so happy for your friend but so sad for you. Your sense of fairness as been thrown a curve ball .. again. I sat down and cried this morning, again. Wondering why it hurts so much, and is God punishing me for something that I have done.. I know that is not the case it just feels that way. Of all the four units on my floor in my apartment block, three women are pregnant and I know for a fact that I have been trying to have a baby longer then they have. I just don't understand and either do the doctors, just one of those things I guess.